The Observer's Blog

I am Catholic, hear me Rohr

A big ministry conference just hapenned in Honolulu, and I hapenned to be there. There's something cool about being in a room of roughly 4000 Christians and knowing that you are one of only a handful of Catholics in the room (though more Catholics showed up for the praise concert). Over the three days of talks, I discovered I have an uncanny ability to sit directly in front of "loud" people. I don't mean they ruffle paper or burp a lot, but they feel that somehow the presentation is actually a dialogue between the speaker and them. For example, after the speaker makes a statement they might mutter "Yes, that's right, and blah blah blah . . ." Their voice is either so soft that its barely audible (so that only really I can hear) or loud enough that they must expect that the person actually sitting next to them cares what they're saying. Suffice it to say that these people are kind of annoying, and I hope you stop sitting behind me soon.

Two of the seminars I went to were particularly interesting: one by Richard Mouw and one by Richard Rohr. Richard Mouw discussed how he thinks Christians should behave in the public sphere, and generally he encouraged people not to try to "take over" (a la Ralph Reed) nor to throw up their hands and claim that this world isn't their home (in case you don't get it, their other true home would be heaven). Apparently he thinks the Bible tells us to work for the welfare of the people and the government equally, period. The other seminar was also interesting, but I won't bother summarize Rohr's (a Catholic) good points. A lot of his talk was so far out on the edge of theology that I think he ventured into very uncertain or clearly crazy territory once or twice during his talk. One example is when he alluded to something called Kirlian photography as "evidence" for something he was talking about, but from what I can tell it's totally bogus:

The principle of Kirlian photography, as well as all electrography, is the corona discharge phenomenon, that takes place when an electrically grounded object discharges sparks between itself and an electrode generating the electrical field. When these sparks are captured on film they give the appearance of coronas of light. These discharges can be affected by temperature, moisture, pressure, or other environmental factors. Several Kirlian techniques have been developed, but the basic ones generally employ a Tesla coil connected to a metal plate. The process is similar to the one which occurs in nature, when electrical conditions in the atmosphere produce luminescences, auras, such as St. Elmo's fire.

My mom also says he's into enneagrams, which, seem to be neither here nor there. It still strikes me as odd that someone like Rohr can have something useful to say while still believing crazy things.

Enough With The Brokeback

Have you noticed the recent increase in the use of the term "Brokeback" as an adjective in conversation? I can cite examples ranging from church people to Alice Cooper's radio show where I've heard the term applied as a proxy for the word gay. I find it very annoying because someone who says "Brokeback" instead of "gay" thinks they are somehow being less offensive or more hip, or both. This is annoying because they have some sort of misplaced self-righteousness when in reality they're being no less offensive than if they just used the word "gay". The more people use the term "Brokeback", the more they show just how desperately they want that "gay" advective available to them in their vocabulary. We need to be able to use the word gay as an adjective!

Design My Office

If you were ever good at Tetris and have Powerpoint on your computer, then this contest is for you. Last spring sometime I made a virtual reality scale model (12:1) of my grad student office, complete with partitions, in preparation for the arrival of new officemates. At the time the office was home to only 3 people, and I felt that modeling was needed to determine the optimal placement of desks so that we could fit in all 4 people when the new grad students arrived.

The contest is to resign the office so that the cubicles are treated more equitably using the Powerpoint file in the link above. I should point out that the main reason this is a non-trivial problem is that the office doesn't have four corner spaces, as can be seen in the image to the left. If there were four corners, each person could simply be given a corner to do with what they will. That said, here are some rules/clarifications when modifying the map:

- Try to keep Desk-B and Desk-D together. Desk-B cannot be used singly as a person's desk.

- The Bookshelf-A's are used both as bookshelves and dividers because they are so tall. Use that dual ability.

- Ideally, each person gets a filing cabinet, but if you have to put them in the hallway (or "anteroom") then do so. But remember: the bikes are sacrosanct.

- The cabinets are mounted high on the wall, and so a desk may be (and currently is) placed underneath them. But dividers and bookshelves cannot be placed under the cabinets.

- In the left hand bottom edge you should be able to make out a rectangular shape; this is the cork bulletin board. It, like the cabinets, is a highly prized item to cotain within an individual cubicle, but it can't be moved.

That's all! Feel free to swap in and out differently shaped desks (such as the extra items in the upper right hand corner), but stick to shapes that already exist (for the desks and bookshelves). Be sure to keep in mind traffic flow in and out of the office (the entry is the set of doors in the upper left).

Remember, this is primarily for fun, but if someone actually comes up with a valid solution, a prize of some sort will be awarded. Like the Millenium awards in mathematics or something . . . there is no award for the "best" design, just the first design that works.